Erasmus Tries to Pull A Fast One on Dan D. Walker

It was an unusually hot June.—The sun shone feriously over Erasmus Nutley. His slow deiberate walk reflected his single mindedness. How he’d give Dan D. his justdeserts. The man mood slightlyy perked up. His tall, bony body was clothed in thriftshop wear . Discount store clothes were too extravagant. His steps were slow , deliberate, as he trudged along the pavement and streets. Daniel Delbert walker and ultimately proving Lady Lynda Mae Hoffenfetter Toze was a reprehensble fake. His lanky arms swung back and forth clockwork like The curmudgeon constantly pursed his thin lips. He grasped his wooden cane tightly to make certain it supported his frame. Tje ongbirds chirpinggave him a splitting headache.
“Out of my way, you squirrels, you stray dogs. Don’t you know you’re in my way. Nutley snapped wildly flinging his arms and his cane as he tried his best to swat the pests surrounding himk “You dumb creatures. Keep away from me you toads, you gnats, you flies before I swat you with my pine knot cane Get awat from my path you low down dirty critters. None of you are going to stop me from my goal of directing my wrath with Lady Lynda and Daniel D. Walker. You varmins can just fade away. I didn’t walk such a long way for nothing” he snapped.
Her eyes opened wide in disbelief. He finally reached his goal. The man felt hs walking stick wobble as he suddenly lost his balance and fell rather ignomiously on his keester. Yet even with this ignoble fall he simply dusted his hand me down clothes, got up and breathed a short sigh of contentment. That was the extent of his expression of joy.
Across the street was airport gate. Now all he needed to do was to find the air traffic controllers office. With new found but guarded optimism the man marched a few yards until he saw a checkpoint. He read the sign “Check here first before entering” Its the law”
Erasmus Nutley groaned as he noticed those words. “Harummph Goverment red tape. Oh one more example of putting the ogre in progress. ” I detest beauracracy” But what can I do except do what it says Its worth it if I can show up Lady Lynda for what she is. A damn fool”
Nutley walked up to the checkpoint on his best behavior. He tried to fake a sincere smile but as he tried his face began to feel like it was cracking. The man wiped his brow as sweat poured down his forehead. He tried to remember the comic Fred Allen quote “If you can fake sincerity you got it made” At least he figured if he got it wrong it was close enough.
Finally, shaking like the last leaf on a tree, Nutley stood his ground. He put his entire weight on his sturdy cane. The man looked straight into the eye of the young whippersnapper of a female attendent. He told her in no uncertain terms to let him in.
“Glory be !” she cried, as she leaned her elbow against the sill of the opening of her stand. Whiie she tried to bes to stifle a guffaw, her left hand wiped her brows. “Look here. LIke I’m supposed to let you enter just because you want me too. Tou need to ID. Whatcha got on ya? ”
Erasmus felt his mood sunk as low as a seashell at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Here was the one place he could challenge Dan D. and Lady Lynda but now he needed to reach into his pockets and produce identification. Oh the unfair beauracracy he mumbled to himself. He loathed goverment red tape
“Don’t look at me sir with that scowl. I don’t make the rules. I just enforce them. Security is very tight here with all the rash of airplane passenger terrorism. ”
Erasmus Nutley shut his eyes to filter out any distractions so he try to come up with a plan. . He pointedly pointed his cane at her as if it was a deadly weapon. The woman in the booth immediately began to signal other members of security.
The man quickly let down his walking stick. He told her he was frustrated by their stupid rules. All he wanted to do was to see a certain cointroller. He didn’t mean any harm to her or anyone there. Was there a way to show who he really was?

The young woman thought for a few minutes. Then she asked was there anything he could show that proved who he was?

Nutley then pulled out his pocket a electricity bill. The woman accepted and let him enter.
The codger greatly relieved continued on toward the controller section
“This wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be” complained Nutley as he walked on. He was tired from his walking but there was no time to rest. He came to far to back down. His goal he reflected was far to crucial to ever give up It was late in the afternoon with the first signs of darkness but no matter what time it, no matter how dark it was , he come too far to turn back. He would make his way and that was all he needed to know.
He was thankful there was no rain. The man constantly looked both ways as he continued his path. Once he confronted Walker he could sleep soundly. He would be at peace….at last.
He passed through several airline company hangars until he noticed the air traffic controller office. It was like it was calling him. The misanthrope shook his head in disbelief There it was directly in front of him His chance to give D.D. Walker his comeuppance.
Just then from the corner of his eye Erasmus Nutley glaned a tall tawny skinned , slender woman. At first it looked as if she was merely passing through. Then not far behind wa s Dan D. Walker shuffling his feet to his own persoinal beat. .Erasmus signed him over but he kept on dancing and happily smiling.
He closed hus eyes, reached out his hand, and shook Dan D’s hand. Walker instantly noticed how cold Walker’s hand was. If was like the coldness reflected the iciness of his heart The Texan immediately knew Erasmus was up to no good. Dan D.’s mood plummeted.
“What are ya here fer. Bet its not to give me good news. The cotroller cackled. “Ah senses its something none too pleasing to me I may be gettin’ old but I still can sense when somethig is up. You know what ah mean?”
Erasmus stomped his feet like an overgrown elf who realized how happy he felt that he realized the realization of what he came for. Here was proof that he, Erasmus Nutley was right. Now the only thing left to do was to give this cracker controller the bait.
Then Nutley went on, swinging his cane side to side like a methodical pendulum. The way his steady glared stared through to D. D. it felt to the other man Nutley was looking through him, clear throgh from his front to his back and beyond. At last his intermineble stare came to an end, Erasmus Nutley propsed a wager to Walker He told the controller he’d grease his palms with silver. Dan D. Walker told he was concerned the silver would make his skin blue. He said he knew of a man who become permanately bluish because he used colloidal silver.
“I can’t believe how idiotic you are.” sneered Erasmus.
“Can’t believe you’d take me seriously. I was joshing you… Seriouslys” retorted Dan D.

The codger stood there for a few minutes thinking of what to do next . He thought of calling the numbskull’s bluff but he tried to think of other options he could try too. Clearly Walker was bluffing him.
“What the heck Nutley You took the trouble to track me down. So what are ya askin fer? I kin tell you’re not exactly ready to praise me”

Nutley vigorously shook his head side to side. Then he stomped his left foot to emphasis his distrust and rage. The very next moment he was completely silent and motionless. His expression was as hollow as scooped out kayak

Erasmus noticed there was a slight grin on the Texan’s face. The old codger dismissed the expression as another example of the simplemindedness of the clueless air controller. It was clearly nothing to worry about.
“You are a hoot Erasmus. You are the rootin, tootinest hoot my eyes ever did see. I know what you’re trying to do to me. Well I got your number and your numbers are counted. You went here to show me up. Well its not gonna be workin fer ya. Its been over a year since I was here and I ain’t never got any airplanes into even the most minor of mishaps. Mah accent I realze sounds strange to ya but my boss thinks I speak clear enough. Ain’t never no got any complaints. So you can shoo on right along. Maybe ah ain’t as sophisticated as you but I do what I need to do here and that;s good for everyone here. ”
By his triumphant expression Erasmus Nutley knew he was licked.

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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