Haut Dogs

Seymour Toze eyes widened with wonderment as he gazed at the rustic interior of the Hautdogs restaurant. The place looked as grand as the finest steak houses in NYC. Toze stared at the high domed ceiling. He grinned with delight at the modern teak wood chairs and tables. Sophisticated yetcomfy he thought. The full high end liquor cabinet he noticed was the same kind of wood as the chairs. He reflected how the sameness gave the place a sense of stylish unity.

He sweetly smiled at his wife. “Yes my darling Lady Lynda. I noticed Foot from us is the fully stocked wine cellar. It’s filled with the most sophisticated windes from NY state, Napa Valley California, France, Italy, Spain. You know foot from us reminds of my pedicures.I love its formal wear only. A tie is appreciated but not required. And women must wear either a dress or a skirt and blouse or top. No sneakers. Heaven forbid. No ruffians here indeed.”

“His wife Lady Lynda gushed “Yes No male teens exposing their gluteous maximus” We deserve to be here you and I. We earned our right to imbibe the delectable hautdogs and potent potables. Both of us paid our dues. I am so proud of you suggesting we dine here. My love, Seymour Toze. They serve brats but they don’t serve brats” Lady Lynda chuckled at her witticism

“Only purist of intensions for you my darling Out of all the fine dining you could pick I truly believe it was the right choice The décor the epitomy of sophistication. The cuisine is superb Why should we eat elsewhere?” Toze asked rhetorically.

This place received rave reviews.No wonder its so crowded” as she quickly perused the many occupied tables and vermillion leather and polished wood booths.

“If someone doesn’t come over I’ll be raving mad Lady Lynda snapped in a ladylike manner. The service here is as slow as dial up internet. Its the world wide wait staff wait” she fumed.

“Remember patience is a virtue. The chef and cooks want the hautdogs, wieners and brats to be the epitomy of delectability. This place is to hotdogs as is “Strip House” is to steak.” replied Lady Lynda’s husband.

Seymour’s wife gasped when she heard her husband mention strip house. Why did he mention those places of ill repute she wondered.

“I’m truly looking forward to getting into my mouth six inches of juicy succulent,firm hautdog.” mentioned Lady Lynda licking her lips with joyful anticipation.

“I sense a feeling of jealousy Seymour dearest. I’m only describing my jubilance in sinking my teeth into such meaty tasty hautdogs. ”

“I just wish I could get some waitress attention.” sighed Seymour Toze.

“Why did you insist on waitress? The waiters are as competent.”? queried Lady Lynda a bit miffed.

“Okay waitress, waiter, waitperson, waitstaff, whatever” Perusing this sophisticated menu is making me famished

Seymour Toze chose the Deluxe Ethan’s Famous with authentic baseball park mustard, classic relish. His wife decided on the Vienna Weiner on the whole wheat roll. They both thought it was so delightful there were vegan hautdogs on the menu for those inclined.

The waiter finally came. Seymour stifled the desire to say he was famished. Lady Lynda knowing this smiled knowingly at her mate.  They told him their selections.

Soon their orders came. The couple thought the entrees looked scrumptious. They quickly said grace and dug in.

“Oh Seymour I am thoroughly enjoying eating my dog” Lady Lynda mumbled between tasty morsels of sheer enjoyment. Seymour Toze wholeheartedly thought the same as he bit into each succulent bite. They were so pleased with their meal they eagerly wanted to go back as soon as possible.

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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One Response to Haut Dogs

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