Lady Lynda’s dramatic Encounter with Curmudgeon Erasmus Nutley

Erasmus Nutley looked utterly determined as he stood directly in the front of the diner’s entrance.    The man confidently swung his arms and clenched his first as he looked for the waitperson to seat him.   His  humped reed thin back rattled like a twig in the air conditioned  breeze.   His watery grey eyes furtively darted like a hawk eyeing  his next meal.   There was no way he would be taken advantage of he swore.  He was a paying customer He demanded to be respected. 

Nutley kept fidgeting.  The man glanced at his watch. He saw he waited for ten whole minutes. The waitress told him he didn’t need to wait.  She smiled, since she thought he’d be pleased he was free to seat himself. Her smile soon turned into a frown when her customer sternly told her she  should be ashamed for not letting a wait person seat their customers.  The female cashier retorted with this was just a diner. a casual bite to eat.  Erasmus  “Excuses, excuses for your lack of civility. She replied “Well if you don’t like it here you’re free to leave” Nutley snapped “What and deny my right to dine in a restaurant where I am able to enjoy a civil pleasure?  Its the principle my dear.  Its the principle”  he sneered.

The young female waitress gritted her teeth.  What next? Cut his meat?  Spoon feed him? He didn’t want service. He wanted to be treated like a baby.   The counter woman wiped her brow as if to say I wish I could brush this creep off.  She was just trying to satisfy this customer the best she could. Though it was clear he didn’t deserve such consideration.  What he deserved was to be kicked where the sun don’t shine.

 Just then a dowdy middle aged woman walked in.  she wore  white leather pumps that perfectly matched her dainty white gloves.  Her prim flower print dress delicately skimmed the bottom of her knees. Her panty hose fit snugly covered her a smidgen too heavy legs.  She carried a white leather clutch. The woman look the epitomy of conservative fashion. On her pale lemon organza blouse was a small conservatively stylish rose brooch.  Her makeup consisted of loose light beige face powder, rose pink lipstick and mascara. The woman’s eyes were blue and green. Her features still pert for a middle aged woman.

 The confrontation between Nutley and the wait woman immediately gripped her attention.      She gasped as she heard the harraunging of Erasmus toward the poor dear victimized woman.   Lady Lynda  immediately wanted to come to the poor dear’s rescue.  The woman determinedly told herself  It was up to her use her immense knowledge of manners to deescalate the tense situation.  Yes but of course, true to herself, in a lady like way.  Lady Lynda after all was consistently a lady.

The self proclaimed etiquette expert walked just past Nutley and the waitress. Seymour Toze’s wife dropped her brush. “Oh dear. How clumsy of me”  Erasmus immediately looked up to check out the sudden commotion.   Erasmus glared at Lady Lynda.  He remembered how much a nuisance she was. Especially with her kumquat persimmon cakes.   What in hell was she doing he sneered.  His nemesis was not taken aback  She held her stride because she knew she was on a mission of civility.

“Mr Erasmus Nutley. That is not the way to handle things.  It is much better to use sugar than lemons.  If you really want somebody to be cooperative you must tell tem nicely.  Everybody has feelings. I suppose even you”

Speaking of lemons I’d much rather be a sourpuss then someone so sweet they make the Dickens character “Tiny Time”  seem like a sourpuss.  .”  Erasmus told her. “I know you can get a lot more done with people if you treat them with sugar instead treating them with lemons”  Nutley’s nemesis replied.

“You know I’m diabetic type two and I need to careful with sweets” “You know darn well what I meant my dear Erasmus.   I’m not telling not to complain but to try to do it considering other people’s feelings. You can be a lot more persuasive that way.  Come on try it. Please do?  “Okay I’ll do it to get you off my back” he snapped. With that Erasmus Nutley bit his lip and did what Lady Lynda suggested.  The result was everyone was happy.

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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