Lady Lynda’s proper footware lecture leads to unexpected consequences.

Lady Lynda proudly walked up to the stage to begin her lecture on proper foot ware for today’s young ladies. She looked rather proper in her rose and pink brocaded business suit Her prim white flats a nice touch/. Her manicured nails matched the rose hues of her outfit. She smiled as she recalled her fawning husband’s pedicures. She beamed how lovely he painted her favorite part of her body, her toes.

Her eyes quickly perused the crowd in front of her . She noticed the scowling faces of the slovenly dressed girls. It was clear they were there only because their prnciple and parents wanted them to be there. The poor dears Toze’s wife chagrined. If only they knew how major this topic is to them.

The woman took pride the local school board requested her talk. How caring of them to want their young ladies to dress properly from their heads to toes. This was her chance to fulfill her mission No more would these female teens brazenly wear sneakers in school. Oh the horror and the disrepect for their teachers. Yes true they were called walking shoes, running shoes the fact was they were sneakers.

“First thing I want to stress is how important the right shoes are. “The wrong ones can ruin practically every outfit. It is crucial ladies don’t look cheap by wearing spiked heels. Especially ones with open toes. Today’s young miss should be demure. Can you imagine what boys think of you in low cut tops and skirts or shorts up to there? Blouses shouldn’t be any lower than just below your neckline. My word don’t you know your bodies are temples Young men should want you for your brains, not only your bodies.” She spoke in dulcent tones.

Suddenly a sullen looking adolescent girl earnestly asked why can’t he want both?

Lady Lynda told her choices must be made. “Do you want to be seen as a cheap hussy? There is nothing wrong with young people dating. But you should respect yourself and save yourself for marriage. The young woman who made the query started to giggle. The giggling soon became contagious to the entire audience. Seymour Toze’s wife was feeling indignant She was feeling hurt too. Those insolent teens she thought How ungrateful of them. Well I’ll show them.

Just then the lecturer heard jangling. She wondered what the noise was. She noticed a female teenager dangling her charm bracelet. Lady Lynda could clearly see the words on the charms. The order seemed to be a code? The insolen teen told her it was an availability bracelet. Lady Lynda replied “Available to be a loose woman I suppose”

“Some crucial words. Never let a young gentleman think you’re easy. You don’t want be thought of as a harlot. . Never,ever enter into a place of a man you don’t know well. You don’t want him to think you’re cheap. If a man is flirting with you stop and ask how will the behavior make feel feel tomorow? What are your sexual morals? Don’t let a man convince you being fast is the right thing to do.That’s only what you want to hear in the moment. As the Shirells sang its not just for a moment of pleasure. “ The crowd looked at her with blank stares. Who the hell were the Shirelles?

“My word “ the lecturer thought” they’re babes in the woods. This is more difficult than I thought it would be. Acting so insolent yet knowing so little. If only there was a way to get through to them.

Just then a phone rings behind the stage. A stage manager says its for Lady Lynda. She excuses herself and answers the call.
“Oh its you Auntie Carol. These youths here are a lot more hard to penetrate than i thought. “Oh yes you’re right penetrate is an interesting choice of words with my topic of saving themselves for marriage.

Writer Lynda Appell

 

 

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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