THINGS NOT TO DO

This is Auntie Carol and I am vexed about the moral turpitude of our young ladies and young men. I may just fling myself into a chasm, Lordie, me. Our young people are fornicating, drinking, drugging and sometimes not even with the opposite sex. It’s just shameful and not even with the benefit of holy matrimony. It’s astounding. I looked up a hooker friend of Wanda Lusts, one Josette Bon Chance and she complied this list for me. I shudder at its wording: forgive the vulgarity and bite the bullet, My Dears.

THINGS NOT TO DO BY AUNTIE CAROL
1) Tell Your BF at her bridal shower what a good pussy eater her intended was.
2) Admit you had your mother exhumed and her skeleton sits in a chair in the living room. You get lonely.
3) Tell someone your blood stream is 90% alcohol. You’re a social drinker.
4) Tell someone you like to eat bugs. Renfield is your role model.
5) Tell someone you collect human body parts and eats lots of cereal.
6) If you’re a man tell the mothers in the park how sexy their little nine year old girls are.
7) Tell GF you think her father is a “sex machine.”
8) Tell GF youR other half, Siamese twin is a serial killer and you’re okay with it.
9) Go to the porn magazine section and yell out, “Yo, fellas in here, anyone want to get married”.
10) When you find the Groom tongue kissing the gay priest, Demand a threesome.
THINGS NOT TO DO BY AUNTIE CAROL
1) Tell Your BF at her bridal shower what a good pussy eater her intended was.
2) Admit you had your mother exhumed and her skeleton sits in a chair in the living room. You get lonely.
3) Tell someone your blood stream is 90% alcohol. You’re a social drinker.
4) Tell someone you like to eat bugs. Renfield is your role model.
5) Tell someone you collect human body parts and eats lots of cereal.
6) If you’re a man tell the mothers in the park how sexy their little nine year old girls are.
7) Tell GF you think her father is a “sex machine.”
8) Tell GF your other half, Siamese twin is a serial killer and you’re okay with it.
9) Go to the porn magazine section and yell out, “Yo, fellas in here, anyone want to get married”.
10) When you find the Groom tongue kissing the gay priest, Demand a threesome.

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One Response to THINGS NOT TO DO

  1. Lady Lynda says:

    Interesting comments. Good think you wrote things NOT to do. Auntie Carol.

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