EXCERPT FROM CATFISH JOE & DOUBLE, DOUBLE, TOIL & TROUBLE

REVISION OF COPY FOR CATFISH

“Okay I be tellin’ ya my story. One time when I was young,
I was rich as Croesus. I had me six fine, fat, juicy Bitches and they
Wasn’t no ho’s neither. None of my womens had to work. Just lay
Back, fuck, and look pretty.”

“Tell me about the Bitches, Mr. Joe,” askedTyrone.
“Oh, they was the finest pussy this side ofMississippi.
Big, black, and juicy as goddamn Georgiapeaches. They was horny as cats in heat,
too. They loved the hell, out of they ol’Daddy Joe.

“Mr. Joe,” said Tyrone, “How you gone tell me
you wasn’t no pimp, Where you git’ the money!”

Well, I got somethin’ kind of weird to tellya’. But I
wants to tell ya’ I ain’t no goddamned headcase.
Tyrone, I had me this old, brown mule, thename of Sugar.
And when I would hold up her tail and itwas time to go,
she shat diamonds. Big, beautiful diamonds,and nothin’ else.
Then the old Bitch died on me, and I didn’thave nothin’ no mo’.
Lost the mansion and the Bitches, too. Aint no woman gonna fuck with no po’ ass man.You, believe me, son?”

Tyrone paused and looked directly at oldJoe.
“Sho’, I believes ya, Mr. Joe. It was some damned Bad Ass
Luck. Mr. Joe, why you aint come home wit’ me for dinner?
ham, grits, greens and biscuits. You like peach cobbler? Mr. Joe,”
said Tyrone.
LlFE AINT NO MAGICAL THING

Life aint no magical thing, son.
‘Ya think it glisten,
‘ya think it flash like teeth at midnight,
or sparkle like a damned diamond on a fat bitch’s neck?
It aint nothin’ but time and a half,
And a 401K.
Dollars is mo’ powerful than blood, son.
‘Ya got yo’ body, Ty,
God done give it to you.
But you aint got no money, son.
God aint gone give you that.
‘Ya got to fuck ‘wid the devil to ‘git that.
Every day of yo’ natural life.
‘Ya got to serve someone.
‘Git me, motherfucker?

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