Ye may not heard of me but I am a friend of mortals, Lady Lynds and Auntie Carol, two 50’s etiquette and morality experts. You see I am an immortal as old as time it self. No I am not wizened nor weakened. My beauty comes from my genes, (My mother, a shaman mated with a male lion and begat me), I have seen the eons rolls by like the waves in the ocean. What do Iook like you may well ask. I am tall lithe, and my breast are but two ivory clef notes on my frame and I stand six foot Inches, bare footed. My eyes change colors to whatever I wear: I have chameleon eyes. They do not turn brown or red. Mostly they are coke bottle green or rainy day gray, or emerald. My mouth is not just for eating and can be used creatively in the act of love. I have the frame of a runner and I eat as little as I can with no sweets other than fruit and I only drink on social occasions. On thing most people notice about me is I have black talons instead of fingernails. I them ”Oh, well my parent’s were from Lithuania.”

Well, enough about me. I took on an assignment, the mentoring of three “At risk seventeen year old high school drop outs. They, it turned out, were beyond mu realm of perception. I can teach a woman to be a tigress but I cannot teach a tigress to become a lamb. They were hefty Big Mac and fires eaters if you receive my meaning and the floor plants shook as they ambled in and took their seats.. I tried to mold their minds into being model citizens but they were too far debased to give this a thought. Instead they peppered me about how to stay slim and how to get men to buy them jewelry, particularly a wedding ring, and how to”get over” on people without them realizing this. I told them a charm school. would be in order. To be Machiavellian Maidens. I did tell them it was a trait that needed to be nurtured, or watered each day like a tiny little cactus. It didn’t happen overnight. I told that my beauty secret was use a good face cream, exercise a lot, dress in style not fads, eat sparingly and “Girls, No fast food.” I then said that was taking care of the outer domain and asked what about their minds and souls and received quite a lot of “Does Paris Hilton have a soul? And how about the Cardassians?” I replied,” You girls think you don’t need an education and that all you have to do is “Hook” a man who will support you . Come Ye want to be fed like caged canaries.. This isn’t going to happen because you’ve got nothing inside and on the outside is
despicable. I don’t aim to be mean but the hunks you envision recuing you from your lives will never show up ,my dears.. Ba a better person so you can attract a better person. That’s what you can do and you have to do it on your own. Nobody can fix you but yourselves.”

There was quite a commotion and Mums, mother of six out of wedlock babies, was the first to lay into me. “ You rich bitch, you don’t know nothin’ ‘bout our lives..” I responded that I had their disciplinary records from their schools plus the files of their therapists.

“Damn”, said Snagle-toothed Sal, “We done took it up the backside!” then laughed.

On her back Suzette or the other name the young people called her, “Creep Suzette”, Let out a huge guffaw and Mums joined in the laughter.

“We aint like you anymore, Miz Orchid, wachername. We thought you was gonna” show us how to succeed not run us down. We collectively says stick it up at the narrowest point”

“Now! That was inspired Suzette. A finely tuned insult shows creativity and intelligence. I liked it very much. You know what to tell a person who says ‘Fuck you? Just say with aplomb, Thank you, no. But you’re not my type. I like humans, Or you could says genus, homo sapiens.”

“You first insult us then ya’ turn around and use a bad word and compliment us. WTF,
Miz Orchid. You aren’t like the other teachers. Just what do you want form us.”

“I want you to get your tainted assess back in school and quite fucking everyone who asks you, That is what I want to do for you, I want you to have some self respect. So you can’t be a movie star: You can improve on what God gave you. Fat asses don’t look good in spandex and nor are halter tops a good idea for fat girls, I must say. I’m laying it all out for you so you get where I’m coming from. Come tomorrow and two of my friends, Lady Lynda and Auntie Carol have something to say to you.”

Mums waddled up to me, and there was liquidity in her movement. Her body still moved for some time after she stood still, and she said to me.

Lissen,’ here ya’ towering bitch, we aint gone come to your damn class no more.”

“Out of Towering Inferno? Right?” I asked and they all burst out laughing, and I knew they’d be here, in class.
See second half on Sunday.

Share This:

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.