Lady Lynda Mae Hofenfetter Toze in her flannel carnation pink nightgown sat lounging in her powder blue velveteen lounge chair. She fondly remembered her great aunt Mz Eula Mae’s profound wisdom. She fanned herself with a paper fan as she constantly brushed her honey blonde hair out of her blue and green eyes.
” Ah yes I still remember my great aunt Mz Eula mae telling me her wise old sayings. They were so witty and so original. I still recall when she told me Don’t bite off more than you can chew.” Sure saved me a dickens in weight loss books. “Don’t let the tail wag the dog.” That was her way of how to train a dog. She was so succinct in her practical advice.
Speaking of pets she told every dog has a few fleas. It was her way of telling me no dog is perfect. She sure wasn’t kosher. Some of her favorite expressions were go hog wild, go whole hog and he was as happy as a greased pig.”
“I still recall my colorful old aunt telling me some folks are like two peas in a pod. Of course she was referring to identical twins. Folks should mend fences. They sure arn’t going to mend themselves. Mending fences is great work to keep fit. Hard workers these days she’d tell me were as scarce as hens teeth. I never knew hens had teeth. Such a bird as my auntie would so wittily express it, be a sight for sore eyes. Bet if she saw such a fowl she’d exclaim that takes the cake. Ah yes that reminds me when I baked those delectable cakes for Erasmus Nutley. Such as fennel flavored roll ups with persimmon filling He is such a dear sweet man underneath his crotchetiness. I suppose my relative would take one look at Nutley and exclaim he sure was not too big for his britches. If only he could buy pants that fit his frame. Land sakes Aunt Eula Mae would declare he was as skinny as bony Maroni. He’s a stick of macoroni. I suppose she was someone she knew. Oh well Seymour is coming home soon. I need to as Auntie Eula Mae would say get ready in two shakes of a lambs tail. Well shut my mouth I hear his car in our driveway