“Boy, why you be up in my bidness?”
Does I look like the fuckin’ encyclopedia or somethin’?”
“You look like somethin’ else entirely, Old Man,
But I aint sayin’”, said Tyrone.
“How you get yosef’ in a fucking mess like this?”
“Who say I be bad off? I lives off the land like Tarzan.
You want my goddamn life story, Boy?” he asked.
“Why you aint call me Tyrone, Mr. Joe. I done give you
“Sorry,” replied old Joe. “It’s nothin’ on you. I just aint used
to people givin’ me they Christian names no mo’.
Tyrone, you got some time to spend?”
“All the time in the world, Mr. Joe,” he replied.
“Okay I be tellin’ ya my story. One time when I was young,
I was rich as Croesus. I had me six fine, fat, juicy Bitches and they
Wasn’t no ho’s neither. None of my womens had to work. Just lay
Back, fuck, and look pretty, that’s all. And I had me a big, giant
Mansion with twenty servants. They was all white, you see.
I figured, why not fuck ‘whitie” cuz he done fuck me royally
Fo so long. Tyrone, I tell ya it was heaven.”
“Tell me about the Bitches, Mr. Joe,” asked Tyrone.
“Oh, they was the finest pussy this side of Mississippi.
CATFISH JOE CONTINUED
Big, black, and juicy as goddamn Georgia peaches. They was horny as cats in heat, too. They loved the hell, out of they ol’ Daddy Joe.
I done it all with them. The suckin’. The fuckin’.
Old Joe know what to do wif a woman.
Then when I done give one money to buy a pretty dress,
Another bitch find out and she be jealous like ol’ Daddy
Don’t love her as much as the first Bitch. Then I gives
Her money and she go get an even better dress.
Them Bitches was a trip. I tell ya, Tyrone.”
“And what about yo mansion”, asked Tyrone.
“Oh, boy, it was splendid. Just splendid. Twenty six rooms,
all done in white, white furniture, white shag carpets.
The Works! I even had me some Elvis paintings and
Bull fighter paintings on black velvet. I likes art.
It was real class, I tell ya. I also had me a turquoise
Cadillac with zebra upholstery.
Shit, them were the days, Tyrone.”
The old man’s eyes misted over
“Mr. Joe,” said Tyrone, “How you gone tell me
you wasn’t no pimp, Where you git the money!”