Lady Lynda explains the Jewish holiday Hanukkah
“I would like to talk about a topic that is near and dear to me. Being of the Jewish persuasion I celebrate Hanukkah. No make that us Jews observe the holiday. yes we get out electron microscopes and we carefully scrutinize every part of this special day. Just a bon mot. Hanukkah even though it originated near the birth of a certain Jewish boy. Legend has it in a stable. I suppose being the Christmas season the hotels were booked. At any rate Hanukkah is not Judaism’s version of Christmas. Nor for that Christmas the christian version of Hanukkah. Though I sincerely wish my dear Christian friends a merry Christmas. To each their own I say.
Lady Lynda wags her finger at the crowd seated in front of her. To signal emphasis. She cleared her throat. Took a sip of water and continued with her speech. As she talked she looked at the people’s expression to see their how they were responding. How friendly, interested they were.
“This holiday is in remembrance when around 100 BCE. That’s our version of BC The letters stand for Before the Christian Era. Oh pardon my interruption. Continuing on. The Maccabees , fighters for the faith defeated the dastardly Syrians and Greeks who ignominiously forbade our folks to practice our faith. How truculent of them. I suppose they never heard of the expression. Practice makes perfect. To add insult to injury they made our ancestors worship a pig in their Grecian temples. Pigs are not kosher. The Hebrew word is tref. It means unclean. The Hebrews took umbrage with their rulers. Mind you I am utterly certain modern day Greeks and Syrians arn’t like that these days. One must not condemn any ethnic group for how they were in the past. Its in the past. I say let go of it. Tata”
“This special day lasts seven days. The reason is there was only enough oil for one day. What a miracle. Oh such fortuitous event. The oil lasted seven days. Ergo we are in observance for one week. Some of us light a candle holder with seven structures for seven candles. The explanation for this is the larger one is in the middle. With this one we light a candle for each of the seven days. Me personally I skp this part because Heaven forbid I would inadvertently start a fire. But most of us do. The true meaning of this time of year is religious freedom. To be free to worship as we please. Oh by the way there is one similarity with Christmas. One that is quite important to our dear boys and girls. Their mothers and fathers give out a gift a day. Some of give out little flat round chocolates wrapped in golden foil to represent money, or in the Hebraic language gelt. Some of us spin a top with eight sides called a dreidal. We bet on what side with wound on the surface it is on. Sometimes we sing “Dreidel dreidel dreidal. I made it out of clay. With dreidal, dreidel. We dreidel I will play. Lady Lynda sang in a sweet contralto. We make potato pancakes called Latkes. So in essence it is a major time for us Jewish people. ”
Lady Lynda’s War on Christmas Solution
Hello Lady Lynda exclaimed in her perfect diction she was suggesting a cogent solution to the “War on Christmas” It seemed every year some folks claimed there was a war on this winter holiday. This Christian holiday was being beleaguered. The phrase Merry Christmas was constantly being confronted with obstacles. There were stores, malls, shopping centers that put up signs that said Happy Holidays. This may be a capricious thought on my part. But I somehow suspect those poor dear store owners dastardly scheme is to show impartiality, inclusiveness. But than again I’m no expert here. Its only a suspicion. I deign to consider that putting up words such as this is done for a devious reason. The business people want as many customers as possible. Oh how mercenary of them!!! Can you imagine a store executive being selfish. Not wanting anything deleterious to their business>
Yet by putting up these Happy Holidays signs, many folks think these store owners and workers are emphatically harming their sales. They claim that Christmas is being ignobally ignored. I ardently differ. Nobody is stopping fellow Christians from saying Merry Christmas to each other. Or putting on display in their homes with Christmas Trees, red stockings with white felt trim. Or for seasonal wreaths. Or Santa’s waving made up colored lights. Or for that matter blinking color changing lights on their trees and on their lawns. White lights shaped like rain deer. One of them with a red nose. Get the picture dearies? Or for that matter anyone putting on decorations for their faith.
Well I believe there is a solution that will please virtually everyone. Here is my proposal. Keep the Happy Holidays signs but include either other signs or decorations with other Winter holidays. There could be symbols for Hanukkah for folks of the Jewish persuasion. Those who are Wiccan there could be cool yule symbols. By the way did you know the Christmas tree is derived from the Yule log? Happy Kwanzaa to our Africa American friends. For our Hispanic shoppers the words Feliz Navidad somewhere. For Atheist there could be Happy December. Lastly for Agnostic there could be something like Happy Holidays but its really unknowable.
The decorating doesn’t need to be expensive. Some drawings with tinsel would be sufficient.
I consider this could be the perect way to please truly everybody. This would be a truly egalitarian way. It would not favor any Winter celebration but include each and every one of them. True it may cost somewhat more. But the more consumers pleased, the more consumers purchase gifts. And to business people isn’t that the bottom line?