Herman Pontificates.

Hellow, Gentle Reader, This is Herman Sherman/Emma Enigma. I just want you to know I shall not ravage Auntie Carol in any way: I am not a freakish monster with an agenda to destroy delicate womanhood. I am a regular guy in most ways: don’t go in for whips and chains and pleasure/pain as you would surmise. Where there’s pain there is no gain: that is my mantra. I shall treat Auntie Carol like a true queen (not in that way, silly). I am a good enough man to see all her wonderful qualities so unlike the bitchy, promiscuous girls of today. Most of them have dated me for the hell of it, hoping I would ravage, and anihilate them like rotten dolls.

This is simply not my way. Unlike some freaks I am not angry at God nor do I pity myself and need to take it out on women. I have mastery of this world and am quite successful as a sex therapist as they can choose either a man or a woman therapist and they’re both me. I am not at all confused but it does tend to confuse others. But not my Auntie Carol, she likes both of us.

Actually, I do not consider myself a freak, I am an educated, cultured, and successful man, and am glad to be who I am. If one hates oneself: it follows he can love no other person. I absolutely hate critical, mean people. They are the true freaks.

Auntie Carol loves to laugh and is the best rhymer I have ever met. It’s a little pleasure I have, She came up with “Harriet from the proletariet riding in a chariot” and “Warn me if you’re smarmy.” I sit around and think of ryhmes and I crack myself up. Auntie Carol loves those dastardly bastards at Peqout school as I love my clients. I am a hands on therapist, not a Freudian one. I give advice as well as listen. I have a great love for my confused, unhappy and traumitized patients. Some people are “freaks” on the inside and I must untangle the Gordian knot that binds them keeping them from being happy and fulfilled.

So be assured I am not some sort of grizzly beast with an agenda to destroy my lovely swan. Now I’ll put on Joanie Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now” (My favorite song), and sip a cabernet. It;s light on the tongue like a samba and goes down in sweet fire. Bon Soir, Mes Amis.

CAROL ANN writer of POEMS OF THUNDER (Noir & Whimsy) @ Amazon.com, BN.com

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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