Lady Lynda looked out at her and her mate Seymour Toze’s picture bedroom window. It was then she saw the shock of her married life. As if former swain Nick Venire’s domicile wasn’t decorated horridly enough with a black background and prominent pink polka dots. This new exterior made his former exterior seem like the cover of “Home Beautiful” she thought.
To say Nicolas Venire’s sense of domestic pulchritude was a sight for sore eyes was like saying Verne Troyer was not quite suitable to be a player on a regular basketball team. In short, the harried woman quickly surmised, the dwelling threatened to make at best the neighborhood the laughingstock of the city. Even worst, plunge the market value the befuddled woman reflected.
She ever so ladylike wiped a lone tear from her unusually brilliant green eye as she felt pangs of guilt. She strayed from the faithful arms of her husband. Because of her dastardly deed the entire section of the city could economically suffer. If she’d been faithful to Seymour , her former lover’s house would never be decorated with two foot square pastels superimposed with “Sponge Bog Square Pants Smiley” faces.
“Oh the indecent nerve of our dastardly neighbor Nicolas Venire. How scornful the fairer sex is if our love is unrequited. At least we’d never ever stoop to what he so offensively did here. “Oh dear I thought Nick was the man…. That is until I discovered he too was a foot fetishistist. That wasn’t important now. Its was his house. They say some artists are colorful. Is colorful a quaint euphenism for eccentric. Is eccentric a code word for as I would most properly express it completely unhinged…Sacre blu?”
Lady Lynda contrition regarding her cheating on Seymour was markedly strong. She tried to mitigate her guilt by convincing herself he deserved it. The woman thought of the debauchery of those flimsy flipflops her spouse made her wear. She hoped the marriage counseling sessions would help save their marriage.
Something needed to be done she quickly concluded. It was clear her neighbor felt so shame. Or else he wouldn’t of blemished his house that way as if it were a painted woman with the most outlandish makeup ever. A cross between a circus clown and the cheap whore. Lady Lynda was getting the vapors. It was getting to be too much…too much!!!! For her delicate self.
On that note Lady Lynda Toze found herself in a dithers. The woman dramatically wiped her daintily perspiring forehead. Then she rested the back of her hand for a few moments to quick check if the stress was giving her a fever. As she pressed the back side of her palm she immediately noticed a tinge of warmth. Yes that deplorable Nick was well named. Yes he was a quick , sharp pain. And not the sharp of someone who is sharp and quick mentality. But more like a jab that cut deep.
She would sleep on it Lady Lynda hoped a good night’s shuteye would make her feel as Seymour would express it, bright eyed and bushy tailed. On that night the woman poured a nightcap of chamomile tea and other ingredients, put on her flannel nighty and headed for dreamland express. Her husband soon followed her.
The next morning once she took her vitamins, she came up with an idea. She’s write a protest letter on the issue of the Venire’s eyesore and see how well she could publicize it.