Garish

Lady Lynda looked out at  her and her  mate Seymour Toze’s picture bedroom window.    It was then she saw the shock of her married life.   As if  former swain Nick Venire’s domicile wasn’t decorated horridly enough with a  black background and prominent pink polka dots.   This new exterior made his former exterior  seem like the cover of  “Home Beautiful” she thought.

To say Nicolas Venire’s sense  of  domestic  pulchritude was a sight for sore eyes was like saying  Verne Troyer was not quite suitable to be a  player on a regular basketball team.   In short,  the  harried woman quickly surmised,  the  dwelling  threatened to make  at best the neighborhood the laughingstock of the city. Even worst,  plunge the market value the befuddled woman reflected.

She  ever so ladylike wiped a  lone tear from her  unusually brilliant green eye  as she felt pangs of guilt. She strayed from the faithful arms of her husband.  Because of her dastardly deed the entire section of the city  could economically suffer.  If she’d been faithful to Seymour  ,  her former lover’s house would never be decorated with  two foot square pastels superimposed with “Sponge Bog Square Pants Smiley” faces.

“Oh the  indecent nerve of our  dastardly neighbor Nicolas Venire.   How  scornful the fairer sex is  if our love is unrequited.   At least we’d  never ever stoop to what he so offensively did here.    “Oh dear  I thought  Nick was the man…. That is until I discovered he too was a foot fetishistist.   That wasn’t   important now.  Its was his  house.   They say some artists are colorful.   Is colorful a quaint euphenism  for  eccentric.  Is eccentric a code word for as I would most properly express it  completely unhinged…Sacre blu?”

Lady Lynda contrition regarding her cheating on Seymour was markedly strong.   She tried to mitigate her guilt  by convincing herself  he deserved it.   The woman thought of the debauchery of those flimsy flipflops her spouse made her wear.   She hoped the marriage counseling sessions would help save their marriage.

Something needed to be done she quickly concluded.   It was clear  her neighbor felt so shame.  Or else he wouldn’t of blemished his house that way as if it were a painted woman with the most  outlandish makeup ever.  A cross between a circus clown and the cheap whore.    Lady Lynda was getting the vapors.  It was getting to be too much…too much!!!! For her delicate self.

On that note Lady Lynda Toze found herself in a dithers.   The woman dramatically wiped her daintily perspiring forehead.   Then she rested the back of her  hand for a  few moments to quick check if the stress was giving her  a fever.   As she pressed  the back side of her palm she immediately noticed a tinge of  warmth.   Yes  that deplorable Nick was well named.  Yes he was  a  quick , sharp pain.  And not the sharp of someone who is sharp and quick  mentality.  But more like a jab that  cut deep.

She would sleep on it   Lady Lynda hoped a good night’s  shuteye would make her feel  as Seymour would express it,  bright eyed and bushy tailed.   On that night the woman  poured a  nightcap of  chamomile tea and other ingredients,  put on her  flannel nighty and  headed for dreamland express.   Her husband soon followed her.

The  next morning  once she took her vitamins,  she came up with an idea.   She’s  write a protest letter  on the  issue of the Venire’s  eyesore  and see how well she could  publicize it.

Share This:

About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.