More Lady Lynda’s marriage tips

Intro: Lady Lynda entered the classroom conservatively dressed in a brocade rose pink suit and matching cotton gloves. She says Hello dears, its once again Lady Lynda I want to talk to you  of a critically important topic.  How a good  dutiful wife behaves in  a successful marriage.  Oh please I  deliberately did not use the word relationship.  That word to me,   indicates what some of us euphemistically refer to it as  living  together.  I call it living in sin I’m  getting the vapors just thinking about it.  Please excuse me while I sit  down before I faint.   Okay now I feel much better. Please note, while Seymour  Toze is my gentleman friend we each live in our separate domiciles.

Lets begin. Rule number one.  Never make your husband feel inferior.  For example  you are offered a work position you know you’re qualified for.  If you  wind up  making more money than your dear husband, no matter how much  you want it, turn it down.   His ego is worth more than any economic  benefit to you.  In fact a wife should be really remisss if she took any job, let alone a  profession.  This would be a real blow to her husband’s ego.  A man’s  ego is as fragile as a bubble blown from a bubble maker.   One poof and  its gone.   Please, whatever you do, young women. Don’t make the mistake of  destroying your mate’s ego.  They may look, manly, muscular but  underneath those muscles lays a mass of  mush of mashed  potatoes. Please remember that.

One more thing never ever say something that goes counter to what he is  saying.  You must never, ever contradict him.  Especially when you are  riding in the automobile with him.   Whenever you get lost,  please  don’t ever suggest you pull up to the nearest gas station and ask for  directions. It may be the womanly sensible thing to do but men don’t think like that.    It is a cardinal  rule that men never ever ask for  directions. This is a  fact that this is written in their  DNA. The building blocks of life.   Don’t ever criticize your man for not asking for  directions.  To do so would surely hurt their fragile pride.  Even if  you get totally lost, you’d be completely rude to complain about your  lovey (spouse) not inquiring how to get somewhere.  It is much better  for you two to wind up on some long winding road than to prick  his fragile ego. Besides you two are all alone.  Use your imagination.  Men may look tough but underneath they are  quivering  jellyfishes.   It is up to the wife to consistently remember

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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