Lady Lynda Lessons for the Mr. Pequot Boys

“I Lady Lynda am here to teach you gentlemen the society’s niceties for young men.
“Francisco, please don’t take this the wrong way, I Lady Lynda wants the best for you and the rest of the boys here. However you being from Puerto Rico was not born a US citizen.”  Alas it isn’t your fault you weren’t born in the best nation of the world.
“I got news for you teach.  You don’t dig us Puerto Ricans  enjoy dual citizenship.  We are, from birth citizens of the US and PR.  I bet you think we’re not as good as you.
Oh gasp no two of my fave actors were born in Puerto Rico, Benecio Del Toro and Joaquin Phoenix.
Yeah he was named after the city in AZ.”
The boys laugh  heartedly.”Okay class let’s commence.  One thing a young male or male of any age is to never let his lady insist he ask for directions. To do so would impinge on his essential manliness.
What does impinge mean.  It means to make an impact, usually a negative one.  It is up to the young man or any man to make certain his lady knows who has the upper hand. And besides it would usurp your precious sacred masculinity.

What I mean by upper hand is not a good back hand. A gentleman should never, not under any circumstance .ever hit a woman.  If he doesn’t like something she did he should explain it to in plain language in a soft yet firm tone of voice. Please realize if you are anything, its a gentleman. You know boys what I mean by firm.

A gentleman  hold the door for a woman. He never unnecessarily honks his horn.  Especially when he’s picking her up in his father’s automobile.   A gentleman stands up in  a bus or train or whatever public vehicle to give a seat to a lady no matter what.   A gentleman never disparages a young woman or any woman for that matter.  Remember there is a huge difference between saying your full of sugar honey ice cream treat and I disagree with you.  Of course you’d say the S word.  But I, being Lady Lynda believes in decorum.   You should believe in it too.

Hopefully everyone of you will graduate from Mr. Pequots Reform School for Dastardly Bastards and you will no longer be dastardly.  As for being bastards WELL that’s none of my business.  You can’t help how you came into the world but now that you’re here you can do your best to make the most of it.  Only you can do that and that’s the truth I swear.  Oh no, not that kind of swearing.  I swear what I told you is truly for your best interest.

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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