Auntie Carol’s Tips for Witty Repartee

Ladies do you load your man down with a running tabulation of your tears and woe?  You must cease doing this.  He is not a therapist.  It is a woman’s duty to “spread sunshine” in all dark corners.  This means you, dear.  Here are some witty sayings he will gladly listen to.  They are: inelegant elephant, contrary canary, lie’in lion, pearl of a girl,  an officer’s saucer, frivolous syphilis,and assinine porquepine.  Also there are certain recommended sayings which will tickle his funny bone.  One is, You dont have to have epileptcy to drink a Pepsi,  my kharma ran over your dogma, Eddy’s ready for spaghetti, and an antelope ate a cantelope.

Quoting any of Jane Austen’s novels, or Emily Dickinson’s poetry is a sure fire way to delight your man.  Stay away from D.H. Lawrence’s books, especially Lady Chatterley’s Lover, as this encourages the practice of fraternizing with the help. Alors! And heavens no.  It may also lead to lewdness and the eternal fires of hell.  Bon Soir, my Darlings.

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes & Noble.com, Amazon.com & iUniverse.com. I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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