Ladies do you load your man down with a running tabulation of your tears and woe? You must cease doing this. He is not a therapist. It is a woman’s duty to “spread sunshine” in all dark corners. This means you, dear. Here are some witty sayings he will gladly listen to. They are: inelegant elephant, contrary canary, lie’in lion, pearl of a girl, an officer’s saucer, frivolous syphilis,and assinine porquepine. Also there are certain recommended sayings which will tickle his funny bone. One is, You dont have to have epileptcy to drink a Pepsi, my kharma ran over your dogma, Eddy’s ready for spaghetti, and an antelope ate a cantelope.
Quoting any of Jane Austen’s novels, or Emily Dickinson’s poetry is a sure fire way to delight your man. Stay away from D.H. Lawrence’s books, especially Lady Chatterley’s Lover, as this encourages the practice of fraternizing with the help. Alors! And heavens no. It may also lead to lewdness and the eternal fires of hell. Bon Soir, my Darlings.