This be Wanda Lust. I got two black eyes, a busted
mouth and two broke ribs. I betcha think it be
from my man, Johnny Youngblood, Well, it aint.
Thar Crazy Bitch, Lady Lynda, climb out of her
long black limousine last Sattidy night and come
right over to my corner and she aint say nothin’.
Just hall off with a BAD, right uppercut and I’m
on my ass. Had a swing like George Forman.
Then she start kickin’ me in the ribs with her
pointy designer shoes. I aint never had such a
beatdown. Then she stop, give me a white linen
hankerchief to stop the bleedin’ and the
wierdest thing she ast me to come have a drink
wid’ her. I ‘fraid not to, and I gits up limpin’
and holdin’ my side. We go into the Warick,
and them people aint much like the way I
be lookin’. Some says things and she say,”
“Shut up, can’t you she she injured!”
I aint never heard her use the “F” word befo”.
She order a wine spritzer fo’ herself and mine is
a shot of blackberry brandy, sweet like I likes
it. And then she get a real weird look on her
face and ask me what I does to Seymour Toze.
I tol’ her everything. And she say “I never knew
men liked that.” I’ll just have to wait until our
weddin’ night.” I say, you marryin’ that guy.
She say “Yes but he don’t know it yet.” And
give me the weirdest smile. I think I likes
the crazy bitch, now. Then we both gits real
drunk and she drop me off at the ER and pay
the bill.’ Carol Bond Post.