More rules for proper deportment

Auntie Carol believes that meeting people in church is the best policy.  Then, you are assured they’re virgins, too.

Auntie Carol advises a lady to wear white gloves like Mickey Mouse wore when coming into contact with pathogens nd viruses and hairy tubular objects.  One must be pristine!

Auntie Carol & Lady Lynda believe that on her wedding day only a true virgin may wear white.  Otherwise if the young lady has engaged in lustful & lewd behavior she MUST sew a Large Red Letter “A” for Adultery on her blouse.  This also happened to Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book, The Scarlet Letter.

Auntie Carol’a Advice on an Indelicate  Situation.  Your husband comes home and finds you in bed with two, large black studs.  One must say, “Darling, you’re home early.  I was just taking a nap.”  This is a sure fire way to save one’s smooth, clammy ass


Most men are gay because they haven’t met the right woman.  Enshroud them

with witty patter and pull your dress over your head and holler, “I’m a whole lot of

woman and you’re a whole lot of man. This is a sure fire remedy!

When a proper young lady meets those of the same sex who desire her sexually she must run from the room shrieking, “But I’m going to marry Johnny Depp! I’m going to marry Johnny Depp!”

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About Carol Bond

I, auntiecarol69, am a poetry and prose writer. My comic Novella, CATFISH JOE is on Barnes &, & I have two other unpublished properties, a book of Noir Poems of Tainted Love, a full length novel (LA GITANA) that is about a Machiavellian 17th century gypsy who becomes courtezan to Louis XIV, the Sun King. I got my degree in English & anthropology. It has been as useful as a bullet to the head. I write The Black Orchid, Wanda Lust a & Auntie Carol. Lynda or Lady Lynda creates the Lady Lynda & Seymour Toze part of the BLOG. A brilliant person and my co-writer, Lynda got her degree in art history. We both try not to get historical (hysterical).
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