Auntie Carol believes that meeting people in church is the best policy. Then, you are assured they’re virgins, too.
Auntie Carol advises a lady to wear white gloves like Mickey Mouse wore when coming into contact with pathogens nd viruses and hairy tubular objects. One must be pristine!
Auntie Carol & Lady Lynda believe that on her wedding day only a true virgin may wear white. Otherwise if the young lady has engaged in lustful & lewd behavior she MUST sew a Large Red Letter “A” for Adultery on her blouse. This also happened to Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s book, The Scarlet Letter.
Auntie Carol’a Advice on an Indelicate Situation. Your husband comes home and finds you in bed with two, large black studs. One must say, “Darling, you’re home early. I was just taking a nap.” This is a sure fire way to save one’s smooth, clammy ass
Most men are gay because they haven’t met the right woman. Enshroud them
with witty patter and pull your dress over your head and holler, “I’m a whole lot of
woman and you’re a whole lot of man. This is a sure fire remedy!
When a proper young lady meets those of the same sex who desire her sexually she must run from the room shrieking, “But I’m going to marry Johnny Depp! I’m going to marry Johnny Depp!”